i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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