WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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