There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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