last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
