I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
