He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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