did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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