one might say we're banned from that church
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it because I queefed?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
