Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
