So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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