remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
A+ Viking dick
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
