I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
As shirtless as possible
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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