he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize