i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
