Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
