I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
