If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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