he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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