Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
