you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
