It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
