He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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