Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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