a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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