Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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