i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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