R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i out mim tonsoeep
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
