why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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