She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Never let your siblings swipe right.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize