Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
