I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
