Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize