Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
