Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
