Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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