You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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