im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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