This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
