You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
