that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
