Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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