If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
