Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
