My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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