I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
