i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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