I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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