I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize