i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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