Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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