You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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