K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
