this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize