I wish I could teleport
grandma shit on top of the toilet
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
