the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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