you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
