There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize