it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
