I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
