wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
