I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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