so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
