Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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