pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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