Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
