You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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