Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize