HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
And then he peed in my hair
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