is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
