i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We need to get me chipped asap
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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