Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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