I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
