I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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