Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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