The maid of honor just puked.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
