all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
